I came across this photograph that proves once and for all that life from other planets does exist and they are *not* friendly.

A child from the Ozarks is now being declared a genius because he drew a picture of the attack last summer at a day camp which has now gone from being placed on the fridge to being on display at the SETI Institute*. When asked about the picture, he said he had it from ancient memories that are now coming back to him that the orange space craft is made out of cheese (how did he know it was orange?!). The child then went into a zen like trance and asked his parents for an Xbox, which he promptly received, along with several new age book deals**.

The parents of the young boy told AG that for the past year he has shown a strong preference for Sci-Fi video games and has seen the Star Wars Trilogy 9 times.

“We always thought there was something extraordinary about him when he began to chant ‘ET phone home’. I mean how did he know that? ET stands for Extra Terrace… or something like that and the film came out WAY before he was born. Genius. Who’da thunk??†said the mother of little Michael. She then continued to tell us, “Given enough time, he can point to Egypt on a map… and not the flat kind that goes on the wall, the globy thing with all the lines.â€

Little Michael who’s 19 years old is an honor student at his elementary school in the Ozarks. Although he remains illiterate, he’s able to add and subtract, which puts him well above the mark of his classmates.

The photographer of the invasion could not be reached for an interview but did say, “It was really crazy weird! I’ve no idea how the rest of the city didn’t see it as well!”

*It has not been confirmed that it was put on display at the SETI institute
**Ben’s guess at what happened after the child was questioned about the drawing
***Actually my Monday night show was on and I didn’t feel like talking to myself.

The Birth of a Tabloid

Continue reading New photo shows that aliens ARE among us and they ARE attacking.

Jabbawockeez is doing a stepping face off with Status Quo and omg it’s pure awesomeness. Status Quo is a little awkward and sloppy, but don’t get me wrong, these guys have moves.

Jabba is just (pardon my trend slang as I hate useing this word) but sic dawg. Off the hook!

JUST TELL ME WHO WINS!

Tell me tell me tell me.

One question- is Lil Mama impressed by everything? She reminds me of a Paula Abdul for dance offs. JC Chasez is the only one who give solid feedback although I think he *looks* for something to gripe about, Shane Sparks is just awesome. It’s like a younger more hip hop version of the Idol judges.

Does Mario Lopez annoy anyone else?

 Here we go… Mario is dragging it on like he’s probaby supposed to do, but dude, my allergy pills are kicking in!

 The winner is….

….

making history as best dance crew….

is….

Applause…

I’m freaking waiting…

COME ON ALREADY

He’s dragging this on- silence from the stage

Screaming from the audience

JABBAWOCKEEZ WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Congrats guys- you did awesome and your home boy is proud (they had lost one of their members, Gary Kendell, tragically)

Now they’re doing the victory performance- ooooh without their masks… awesome

It’s after 10 and this isn’t live really because I have to click “post” before anyone sees this. I’m currently watching the finale of Randy Jackson’s Dance Crew, regretting giving little Stan Lee a cat nip feather toy because it feels just way too late to watch a cat fly across the living room and attacking… every thing.

Before they announce the winners they are having a dance off by bringing in the other top performing crews of the season. West Coast vs East Coast vs The South vs that other part of the country that links the rest of us.

It was cool seeing Kaba performing with Jabba- but the Fish n Chicks stunted the performance imo- kind of like the two crews held back for the lesser talented groups sake (they’re all West Coast). Maybe next season I’ll be rooting for East Coast. Who will root for me though??

 To be honest I don’t know if I can stay up to see who wins- Status Quo/Jabbawockeez. I’m SO tired! I forgot to take my pills last night which meant almost no sleep, waking up every 30 minutes, then fifteen, then ten… then five… starting shortly after midnight. I’m physically exhausted from carrying Jonathon down and up the stairs all week- and then his wheelchair… in heels while having a female week, while feeling mentally spent, while catching the cold that’s been going around. Currently I don’t know if I’ve caught the nasty virus or if it’s because I haven’t had my allergy pills in 48 hours and the cats constantly swarm on me. Runny, itchy eyes, runny nose, swollen throat- I dunno. It’s weird though, sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I think I have no allergic reaction to cats, but come spring OMG. And now that spring has sprung (and no, they’re not outdoor cats), I’m in misery every time they come near me if I’m not on some sort of defense. I *could* take the non-drowsy formula, but that doesn’t give that little assist to fall asleep.

Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the theatrics guys (the show)- but enough already- show me the winner.

It’s been a lot of clips and regional dance offs- but I’m so sleepy.

 More to come.

This is me defeated ->

I’ve *tried* to be upbeat and positive in-between my whining and griping. Even with the whining and griping I’ve kept a smile. Or a least I thought I was smiling. I’m pretty sure if you roll back the tapes it’d more of a snarl.

GAH! Screw it. The Simpsons had it right when they sucked Mary Poppins into a jet engine. If you look for the silver lining you increase your chances of getting hit by lightning.

I still wonder what the hell they’re referring to when they say the best things in life are free.

I can’t even look at a couple without thinking, “So that’s the only person on Earth who can put up with them.” or “Yeah, hold hands you cowards because you know how much it costs living on your own.” The only time I regret getting a divorce is when I fear my job is on the line and the bills come due. You’re a lot more ballsy and willing to take chances in the work force when you aren’t solely responsible for mouths to feed and a roof to hold up over your child’s head.

Seriously I’ve tried everything to get myself in an upbeat mentality, everything shy of dropping myself in a vat of acid in an attempt to get that “Joker” look, “If I look like I’m smiling, perhaps I’ll believe I’m happy.” Happy? What the hell is that? Content?

Granted my boy gives me doses of happiness. I’m thankful for that. If it wasn’t for him I’d probably be in prison for stealing a small villages Christmas decorations and presents- and knocking the overly optimistic blonde girl across the Alps.

When you have mouths to feed you stuff all your natural tendencies way deep down inside in order to not rock any boats despite how miserable you are. When I use the wrong kind of kitty litter (crystals instead of … non crystals), my cat jumps into my potted plant, gives me a cold stare and then relieves himself (in the split second that it takes for me to jump off the sofa yelling, “What the HELL?!”). He was unhappy. He let me know in his own way and I went out and purchased a new brand of kitty litter. He’s now snuggling next to me instead of defecating in my foliage.

I blame this avalanche of failure on not being in a relationship. Where am I supposed to direct my frustrations and anger? On little Jonathon??? I think not. Instead I must stuff it all inside and pretend to be okay with everyone and everything that I want to yell at, “OMG- at least buy me dinner before you totally screw me.”

When throwing away my ammonia smelling plant, I felt a slight admiration for my cat. You don’t screw with him. You don’t give him less than he deserves less you want him to show you how he *really* feels. Why can’t I do that? Well I *can*, but I really don’t know if I can fit my sofa in a refrigerator box along with my TV.

Current Mood: annoyed

There used to be a time where it was fun to bring up a little bit of the Mother land accent. “You little yellow butter ball! (you li-el, ye-ow bu-er ball…!) And now that Brit has completely pushed herself over the edge by playing with the paparazzi (seriously- in her initial attention desperation, did she truly think she could set food out on her patio and once she was finished getting her publicity fix- all those little critters would leave her alone and not invite friends?) she sent herself clear over the brink of insanity.My faux British accent is gone now. Brit, you ruined it… you’ve now likened a British accent coming from the mouth of an American to being purely pathetic. I can no longer imitate Monty Python without cringing. Now I know how the listeners feel. When Madonna did it, the entire thing was quickly forgotten “She’s a loser- whatever…” and now two blonde iconic twits are on that bandwagon and not in a Flying Circus kind of way…  They turned a jolly clown scenario and gave it the same trauma of a sad clown or a mime. They stole away all my fun and turned into a velvet picture of the frowny faced clown with the wilted flower. BLAST YOU!  

Current Mood: annoyed