The Importance of Eye Contact
I love the eyes of my children. They are all the same ever-shifting shade of blue as mine. They are big and always taking in the world around them. Honestly, these kids never miss a thing.
Until recently though, I never paid that much attention to their eyes as they relate to verbal communication. As my children have gotten older and life has gotten busier, it has been important for me to make sure my kids actually hear me the first time I say something.
One of the easiest ways to make sure this happens is to insist on eye contact. Whenever I am telling them to do something, or just want to really make sure they listen, I tell them to look at me. Sometimes I have to say “look in my eyes.” And sometimes I even have to tip up their chin and make sure their eyes stay on me instead of wandering all around the room.
When my children make eye contact with me, I know they have heard what I said. (Whether or not they will actually listen is sometimes another story.) Not only that, but I also know they didn’t just hear me while preoccupied with something else. Eye contact means they have to stop and pay attention. It means they know that listening to me is the most important thing they need to be doing right now. And it shows respect.
Eye contact also works both ways. I should not expect eye contact from my children if I am not willing to give them that same courtesy. This habit has taken awhile for me to really embrace. My husband’s reminders help a lot though. I now make it a priority to show them the respect of eye contact when they are talking to me, even if that means I have to look at them with bread dough up to my elbows. I can listen and acknowledge them, and they know that I have really heard them. Making eye contact with them also enables me to say “not right now” or “you can tell me one more thing before I have to get back to work” without them whining for my attention.
Is it eye contact important in your home? If so, what “tricks” do you use to make sure that your children actually look in your eyes?
AUTHOR | Kate Miller
Kate, one of the original 3 Moms, is a happy wife and stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of 4 children, ages 9, 4, 3, and 1 1/2. She and her family have spent the past few years purposefully living a simple and frugal life. Along the way, she has learned many frugal and financially-wise tips to help her family save and intelligently spend money while still enjoying an immensely full and wonderful life. You can read more about Kate on her personal blog, A Simple Walk and on her foodie blog, Cooking During Stolen Moments.
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I completely agree! The experts actually say that you should not give young children instructions until they look at you. The message gets across a lot better that way.
Sherry | October 13th, 2008, at 7:24 am >>My son is ADHD we believe and this is something I have to continually keep in the forefront of our minds. He gets distracted very easily. I don’t have any tips for eye contact but I just ask him to look at me.
Poo Talk « Mom Must Write | October 13th, 2008, at 10:18 pm >>I know I need to make more of a point of making better eye contact with others, too.
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