Final Thoughts on Neil Rogers

by johnford on December 25, 2010

So the King of South Florida radio is gone. Waking up on Christmas Eve 2010 I read the news that Neil Rogers had passed beyond the mortal coil. I worked with Neil at three different South Florida radio stations (WINZ, ZETA and finally WIOD) and even though I worked with the man every day over that time period, Neil was still an enigma to me, and I think to most who worked with him.

On air he was in control, brilliant, and a thousand other adjectives. Off air, he was the epitome of a nebbish. Neil was quiet, walled-off, shy and seemed to have a permanent partition erected around him. I’m no shrink, but he would undoubtedly been a candidate for an asperger’s diagnosis. But Neil’s lack of social graces off-air were no hindrance to his brilliance on-air.

When I was a rock jock at WHSE I would end my evening shift driving home listening to Neil on WKAT or  WNWS, always thinking, “Thats’ what radio is supposed to sound like.” This is long before Neil went “nuts” and started doing radio his way. He was doing the typical talk show host thing, mostly political, but his brilliant personality and timing always cut through like a straight razor. Neil created the kind of radio every personality dreams of, where listeners fear turning off their radio in a panic that they might miss something. It wasn’t uncommon to see people sitting in their cars laughing listening to Neil, even though they would face the wrath of their boss for being late to work. Then running into their office, before doing anything else,  they’d pounce on the radio power button in hopes they didn’t miss a perl from Neil during their sprint into work. If they were lucky, their boss was doing the same thing.

While I was at ZETA, during Neil’s stint at morning radio in Miami, I must have done hundreds of bits for Rogers. I handled Dave Caprita’s chair when he was out as Neil’s “producer,” sat in for The Bird when he was on vacation and endlessly partook of the perpetual buffet of vittles that came our way. One of my most vibrant memories was one morning, it had to be some kind of holiday or something, where the studio looked like a buffet catered from some of South Florida’s best restaurants, with containers of food literally overflowing into the halls. You never went hungry on the Neil Rogers show! I got endless praise from Rogers for my part of the show, but eventually, like every one else, I too turned to the dark side and became just another douchebag. But if you didn’t get slammed by Neil, hell, you didn’t really matter. It was, as many have pointed out, a badge of honor.

Hell, Neil had his faults, like we all do. Maybe that’s what we love so much about him, he didn’t really cover up his own shortcomings, and didn’t pull any punches with listeners, public figures or anyone else that caught his eye. He had, without a shadow of a doubt, the worst taste in music I’ve ever encountered. But we still loved him for it. It was part of his “Neilness.”

The biggest praise I can hurl at Neil is that to this day he’s still the mark I compare to all other radio personalities. When I hear a host using drops, I always think of how Neil would have done it. How he would have used that impeccable sense of timing to really pull it off. Just remember how Neil would use his “NO” drop. The man could make “NO” more entertaining than anything I can think of I’ve ever heard on the radio. Lot’s of comparison has been made to Neil and Howard Stern. Sure Stern came first, and Neil undoubtedly was inspired by Stern’s breakout style of radio abuse, but Neil could pull it off all by his lonesome. Neil’s cast of characters and bit players were a big part of his show, but he didn’t need The Bird, Caprita or Jorge as backup. Neil was, without a shadow of a doubt, the single greatest solo talk show host to ever grace the airwaves.

The last time I heard Neil was on a visit to South Florida. Neil wasn’t taking calls and was instead reading faxes on the air. To me, it was Neil committing on-air suicide. I got the feeling that he just didn’t care anymore and wanted out. A few months later Neil was gone from the South Florida airwaves. All I can say is, I’ll miss that brilliant son of a bitch.

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Austin Sunset from My Window

by johnford on October 2, 2010

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This is Why Journalism Has Failed

by johnford on September 19, 2010

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Radio Programming in the Bike Shed

by johnford on September 8, 2010

Not every Program Director is a genius, but all of them, at one time or another, can drop a perl. I’ve worked with and for tons of PD’s over the years, some great and some not so great. But without a doubt, I’ve gotten some good advice from all of them. I remember early in my career while going over an aircheck with a PD, he turned to me and said, “You know it’s a damn shame that most Jocks spend their first few years learning to talk like a DJ and the rest of their career learning to speak like a human being.” Talk about being hit in the head with a two by four! It worked. [click to continue…]

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Got a call yesterday that my song “I Knew I’d Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top of You” was going to make it into a Jay Leno bit called “Country or Maury.” Essentially the bit is Leno gives the title and the audience votes (by applause) if it is an actual bonafide country song or a segment from the Maury Povich show. Murray won. They lost. Video below:

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The Filthiest MacBook Ever

by johnford on April 21, 2010

So this guy stumbles in with eyeglasses askew and looking somewhat disheveled. He mumbles something akin to, “My cat…. blah blah blah.” I slowly crack open the top of the MacBook clamshell and then seeing what lies under its lid I quickly let it fall shut. Opening my desk drawer, I slowly put a surgical glove on my right hand I keep specifically for this purpose. With gloved hand I open the Macbook and without a doubt, it has to be the nastiest laptop I’ve ever seen. I tell the gentleman in question, ” I’m not sure I can work on this machine. It will cost you $45.00 if you just want me to ‘diagnose’ the machine.” He says OK. The pictures below don’t do justice for just how filthy this computer is. The shot of the trackpad where it looks like just regular old dirt, is actually a combo of dirt and some kind of mold.

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Why Morons Sometimes Make the Best Radio Hosts

by johnford on April 12, 2010

I’m a puncher. Constantly punching around the dial on my drive looking for something amusing or the least common denominator of entertaining. I’m often caught tuning into KLBJ here in Austin for the morning drive show: Mark, Ed & Sgt Sam.

sgtsam0.jpgMark Cesar is the PD of KLBJ and the referee of the morning show. Ed Clements leans a little left of center and Sgt. Sam plays the role of the right-wing/quasi-religous spinster. The show if pretty fast paced with new topics often being spun almost every break. So habitually you will hear the hosts pontificating on a topic and callers referring back to a topic from a half an hour ago. As you might imagine, it can get quite confusing as a listener.

On to the topic of conversation…Sgt. Sam. To paraphrase Obi Wan: “You will never find more wretched jive of muttonheaded vapidity” [click to continue…]

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The Present and Future Apple iPad

by johnford on April 11, 2010

Or, where the iPad is likely to take us.

My God how the netizens love to prognosticate about Apple. It’s not a new phenomena. I’ve been in the Apple fold long enough to have lived through the high-flying ’80s, the “beleaguered” ’90s and the return of the triumphant Apple of the new century. I could have never foreseen the resurgence of the Mac from the early years of OS X. It’s easy to forget the crippling Carbon years, lack of software releases and users relying on legacy apps to get their work done. Yet there were some brilliant moves on the part of the Apple team: The end-around Adobe from NeXT Display Postscript to Display PDF to name just one. The next move from Apple with the release of the iPad? It seems obvious to me…ipad_accessories_6.jpg

The Mac will whither on the vine. I predict that within two years or less, Apple will release a “touch screen” iMac that will be the harbinger of a new era of desktop computing. The offerings of Apple for “traditional” computing will continue to diminish. The iPhone software will continue its migration from the iPad to the desktop iMac computing line. The iPad is not so much revolutionary as it is evolutionary. Consumers just want a computer that well, “Just works.” Despite many years of Apple telling the unwashed masses that their computers do just that, they haven’t until now.

Coming from a background in media and not computing I believe gives me a different perspective on this than the average geek. Grandma and Suzy consumer are used to devices that operate when you turn em’ on . They don’t care if it’s “open,” they just want the damn thing to work. As in work like a toaster, radio or TV. The iPad might just be the first computing device that hits anywhere near this target. The iPad is the first incarnation of a truly mature computing device. You want toast? Stick it in a toaster and push the lever down. You want Internet? Touch the iPad and it’s there.

Average computing consumers don’t care that the Apple iPad is a completely closed computing system, but they’ll love the idea that they don’t have to worry about malware, viri or endlessly fiddling with configuration to get it to “work,” because Apple and the AppStore controls the whole widget. No more fudging with permissions, directories, home folders, terminal, fsck. They touch it and it will “Just work.”

Here’s an even bolder prediction: Within 10 years Apple will not even make Macs. All future Apple “computers” will run some version of the iPhone OS. Apple will spin off it’s computing division and licensee OS X. Only this time the clone market won’t cannibalize Apple, because the lions share of its capitol will lie in consumer computing devices running the OS X “Lite” iPhone OS.

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New Delineator Recipes Cookbook – Sandwiches

September 3, 2009

Classic recipes from The New Delineator Cookbook from the 1920s. This is chapter two with sandwich recipes.

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Stripper Radio Comes to Denver

August 1, 2009

radio in denver may never be the same as stripper radio replaces alternative music on indie 101.5

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