family

Sinner or Saint: Are You Taking Time for Yourself?

Mothers typically think they are supposed to put the needs of their family before their own. Tending to other people first is a culturally accepted norm for women in our society. Anything short of this can be perceived as selfish, even sinful.

You may hold up in your short-term and even medium range duties if you are continually tending to other people’s needs at the expense of your own. But nobody can keep that up forever, not even you. Providing a tiny bit of regular space to allow yourself to recharge will help maintain your ability to respond, to be “response-able” to the needs of your loved ones.

You undoubtedly want the best for your children, and may mistakenly think the best for them means putting all your feelings and needs on the back burners. But what about the fact that you are one of their more important role models from the first day they arrive in your life? If you don’t take care of yourself, your children will learn from your actions (or lack thereof) more than your words. Show them how to take care of themselves by making healthy choices for yourself.

So how do you go about taking time for yourself? Some people recommend mediation, which has been proven to be extremely effective for stress management and overall health and well-being, but this is just one way to help. All you need is a few quiet moments for yourself every day. You can walk, sit, gaze at something beautiful, or just close your eyes. You can even lock yourself in the bathroom for a short time to get a little time away from everyone. It doesn’t really matter how or where you decide to take time for you, as long as you follow through with a regular commitment to yourself.

If you work away from your home, you may find it a bit easier to set a little time for yourself aside away from your family. If you are at home twenty four hours a day, I recommend brainstorming to find a way to take some time away once a week for an hour or so while a responsible adult is caring for your baby or child. This will allow you to ease up on yourself and decompress. When you return, even a short time later, you may feel warmer and more appreciative of your little ones than when you left. Even over-tired, over-worked moms can open up their hearts more easily by having a window of opportunity to feel ever so briefly “off duty.”

You may find unexpected benefits from following through with this self care technique. Certainly you will realize temporary benefits from having a few daily moments to breathe, but will be creating long term benefits as well. When your inner self begins to trust that you are going to continue taking time and space for yourself, your mood and even body image will improve. You are, in effect, saying that it is all right for you to be in the world! This will translate into healthier self-talk, wiser choices, and a more grace-filled, response-able presence as a partner, wife and mother.

Tags: being a mom, home, parenting skills, responsible, selfish, time alone, time for self