Choosing our Memories

Why children don’t outgrow toys of sentimental value

“NO! I want to keep that one!”, said my six year old grabbing an old, somewhat grubby stuffed toy out of my hands. It was the day before our garage sale, and my son and I were going through his closet together to clear out the toys which he had outgrown, and needless to say, I was quite surprised to see which toys he insisted on keeping even though he didn’t play with them anymore.

Psychologists have recently confirmed that children do become emotionally attached to cuddly toys, blankets and even smelly old scraps of material because they intuitively believe they possess a unique essence or life force. Studies showed that children will prefer their cherished comfort objects over duplicates apparently identical in every way. From a very young age, children will invest in such objects intangible qualities that cannot be reproduced. The child’s sentiments to this object is similar to that of an art enthusiast who values the original over a copy that is identical in every way.

In an experiment, children were shown a “magic” box which reproduced objects. After seeing the machine replicate a green block, they were then asked if they would like their comfort toy reproduced. Of the 22 children asked, four stubbornly refused to allow their object to be copied, and of the 18 that allowed their object to be duplicated, only 5 opted to take the copy. (Afterward, the children were shown how the illusion worked, and they then understood that they went away with the original. )

This experiment showed that children believe that in addition to the physical properties of their objects, there was some other quality to them that could not be copied. This intuitive reaction to cherished objects exists in children as it exists in adults who value fine art originals.

Some toys are sentimentally valued as much as, or even more than, fine art pieces. They are kept for life, and even passed on to the next generation. These special toys can be instrumental in the life of a child. They instill a sense of identity, and a value for relationships. Most of us can remember particular gifts or toys that we received as children and the excitement they caused. Children are also able to recognize that something is precious, a thing to treasure and be careful with. It can be argued that in handling precious toys, children learn the need for physical restraint.

So, yes, children can get attached to their toys. They see their favourite toys as a stable part of their environment, and derive much comfort from that. They are also aware, in various degrees of understanding, that these toys were given with love from parents, relatives, or friends. They probably don’t notice whether the gifts are hand-me-downs, purchased or hand-made. What probably matters most is whether the child experiences joy in the toy, and thus begins a relationship with it. Inevitably, some toys are more valued than others. Favourite toys or comfort toys serve to shape the child’s understanding of what it is to be loved and cared for. These are all valid human yearnings worth bearing in mind the next time you find your child unwilling to part with the “best” of his old, favourite toys.

Tags: childhood memories, emotional attachment, sentimental value