Yesterday on this site, I was part of conversation regarding my post entitled: “Islam is a religion of peace…in the west.” (click on this link read the post and comments). Because religion can encompass so much, I decided to hover around the issue of domestic abuse within the Muslim community and why is it not being addressed publicly. As you will see in our conversation, every time this issue was brought up, it was met with comparisons to “crimes” committed by Christians over 100 years ago ( a common reaction that I have received from all Muslims I have talked with over the years. Is Islam able to stand on its own feet without leaning on the “faults” of other religions?). While the Christian church has a history of sanctioned slavery and racism, these beliefs have long been denounced and abandoned. While the Christian church may not be perfect, as Christians we are free to voice our opinions about Church culture–even if the majority does not agree.
Folks like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and others are good examples of the openness of Christian Church. While the local ministries these folks represented sought to squelch the truth that was going on behind closed doors, much of the Church as a whole were eager to bring the truth out in the open. Christian media did not shift gears to report on the crimes of other religions. Instead, they helped bring the story of corruption to the national front page. This is something that I do not see in Muslim culture (maybe it does exists…I dunno). For example, how well is the issue of domestic violence within the Muslim community being addressed?
9/11’s Hidden Toll: Increase in Domestic Violence
Muslim-American women are quietly coping with a tragic side effect of the attacksâ€â€Âa surge in domestic violence
Sarah Childress
His temper flared even before the wedding. But Lila’s husband was usually sweet and attentive, a devout African-American Muslim who even traveled to her native country in the Middle East to meetâ€â€Âand charmâ€â€Âher family. To make up for his rare outbursts, he brought home roses and kissed her feet. But after 9/11, his temper turned violent.
The article continues below
Neighbors worried when they heard him screaming at her for leaving laundry in the washing machine. “It changed him from an angel to a monster,” says Lila, who spoke to NEWSWEEK on the condition that her real name not be used. Suddenly, when she tried to comfort him, he would kick her to the floor. Once, she says, he threatened to hit her so hard that she “would not land until next Sunday.”
Sadly, Lila is not alone. Since 9/11, domestic violence has been on the rise in the American Muslim community, according to social-service agencies nationwide. The weak economy, an insulated culture and intense scrutiny from law enforcement and locals alike have created a powder keg that’s all the more frightening because there are so few resources to deal with the problem; only three shelters in the United States cater specifically to Muslim culture. And, with the authorities threatening arrest and deportation for suspicious foreign nationals, Muslim women are even more hesitant to report abuse than usual, according to Nora Alarifi Pharaon, a psychologist at the Brooklyn, N.Y.-based Arab-American Family Support Center.
Even before 9/11, Pharaon says, most abuse in Muslim communities went un-reported. This is a patriarchal culture, she says, that puts a premium on the family unit; the notion of counseling for marital problems is a rarity throughout much of the Muslim world. Lila’s husband controlled her money, her apartmentâ€â€Âeven her mailbox key. Lila says that would have been fine had her husband “respected” her. “This is how I was raised,” Lila says. “I was the wife, and I knew what my duties were.” Even after he turned abusive, she tried to win his approval. She took a job when he was demoted from his position at a major airline, scrubbed the apartment tirelessly and planned romantic dinners. But the violence didn’t stop. Still, her family back home encouraged her to try harder. (more…)
Any press conferences on this issue?
While the article goes out of its way to blame other factors as to why domestic abuse is on the rise in this community, I’m sorry, there is NO EXCUSE for beating your wife.
Other related articles under this topic:
Domestic Violence in the South Asian Muslim Immigrant Population in the United States
Darfur
This is another one of those issues that is met with references to the Crusades everytime it is brought up (If you click here, you will find commentary and articles on this site related to the ongoing conflict in Sudan). Again, why justify a wrong with a wrong? As I mentioned yesterday in my conversation, Muslims are quick to take to the street and riot in anger as soon as someone says something negative about their religion. But I have yet to see one soldier from a Muslim-based country (mind you, the governments of most of these countries are financially capable of dispatching troops thanks to their top position in the oil industry) lift a finger to defend the thousands of Black Africans who have (and still are) being slaughtered by those who claim to be Muslim. Nor do I see a demand for ANY type of aggressive action to stop this genocide.
BEFORE I CONTINUE…
As I have mentioned on this site seemingly millions of times, while most Muslims here in the west are very peaceful, I have yet to see them take a serious stance against Muslims in other nations that “misrepresent” their religion without making comparisons to 100 year old faults (again, faults that have long been rectified) in other systems. Trust me, I have the sense enough to know that all Muslims are not terrorists or support them. I guess I want to know “why the silence?”
One last thing. Those that spout the comment “Well the Christian Church doesn’t have a clean past either, so why judge?” show their ignorance on this issue on many levels. I’ll say it once more, while it is true that Christian history is not exactly clean, the Church has long abandoned these ideologies. What also makes this argument very weak is that it makes no sense when applied elsewhere. For example, who am I to discipline my children for lying if I lied as a child? Who are we as a nation to put people in prison for breaking the law when the average driver goes over the speed limit every day? In fact, why have laws if the people who wrote them did not have “clean hands”? If we are to use this line of thinking, then those who regularly criticize and judge the Christian Church need to also be quiet–for ALL of us are not perfect, right? Same goes for folks who criticize the government for not doing enough for the poor while they themselves regularly drive by the homeless without helping them. If you are going to use this rationale, then carry it all the way out.
In this post, I brought up just two hot-button issues that I prefer to have my Muslim readers comment on without making comparisons or references to other religions or governments. If Islam is worth its salt, it can and will stand on its own. When I ask pointed questions to other Christians or folks in other religions about their faith, I don’t expect them to take the “See, they did it too” attitude. So I will not make any acceptions in this case either. If you are non-Muslim, you may comment as well, but my response to you may not be as quick.
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