Marriage is something that has to be worked at, and should not be gone into lightly. Married couples that I have come across in my work often say things like “it’s not the same as when we first met,” or “after the baby was born everything changed.” Yes, that’s probably true, however no relationship can stay exactly the same forever. It must evolve. My relationships with my junior high school buddies are much different today than they were 16 years ago. As far as marriage goes, if you want the infatuation that you felt when you first laid your eyes on your partner to last the next 60 years, then you have another thing coming. Those feelings must flow into a true friendship based on love, honesty, respect (and the occasional adventure). Throughout the years infatuation will come and go, but the foundation on which your marriage is built should not.

Marriage is a covenant before God & it is what you put into it. The one thing people forget is that it takes two to make it work. I, myself being a divorced Christian hated to have to divorce but due to the circumstances of violence that prevailed I simply had to protect my children. I am glad I know that even though I divorced to protect my family God knew that I did not enter in my covenant lightly. So even if you are a Christian who has been through a really difficult divorce it is better than staying in a bad marriage. The most important advice I can give anyone is learn from your mistakes & don’t make a bad situation worse. Simply put, if marriage did not work the first time around don’t give up. I can happily say the second time around was better than the first because I appreciate God more for all that he had gotten my family through the first time.

As a divorced christian, all I can say is it hurts but it helps to pray and talk to others about your feelings. My situation was after 13 yrs, he left me for another woman – a mutual friend (Christian) – and as a pastor, he seemed oblivious to the damage he was doing. iT WAS HARD for me to forgive him, but thanks to a caring Pastor who had been there before, I was able to release my hurt, forgive and move on with my life – it really helped me when I found out it really wasn’t my fault, but the decision – for whatever reason – had been his – to do what he wanted to do.

Today, we communicate. and I expect to remarry when God sends my husband. Praise GOD! HE causes all things to work together for our good.

Fred hammond is my favorite singer. I’m sorry for what he went through. “There is a way that SEEMS right to man”

We were church leaders, built our home, 3 kids, BMW, minivan and had the perfect Christian image!!

The “the perfect Christian image” for a family is not the stuff you mentioned. Instead, it begins with a man who truly loves God, treats and loves his wife as Christ treats his church and loves his children. If this was not in place to begin with, then from the way it sounds, the problems were a lot deeper than what you have presented here. Again, the “image” only tells half of the story.

I know of a woman whose family attended church faithfully and looked like they walked right off of a Ebony magazine cover. This woman later found out that her husband was sleeping around with another man who happened to have AIDS. Not only that, her son would walk around the house with shirts tied around his waist because he wanted to be a girl. Where did he get that from? His dad. But if you were to see these folks in church, you would not have known any of that was going on. Last I heard, she had to leave her husband and move on with her life.

There is no scripture in the bible that says “God hates the divorcee”. Instead, He said that He hates divorce. BUT WAIT!!! Check out this link. I found it to be quite interesting as it provides a more complete biblical historical interpretation of God’s hatred towards divorce.

What I was addressing in this post was this culture of divorce that has been going on in the church for years. The majority of them not involving the severity of mess you had to deal with.

I have seen Christian men be the most abusive to their wives and that is sad!

Now is this statement based on your own experience?

it’s sad reading all these stories. marriage began the day you said i do and you have to work it out till death parts you guys. it takes 1 party to play the fool. I have seen couples whose marriage hit the rocks but because one person agreed to forgive, things became better. For the young ones, order your steps in God, and he will direct your paths, choosing a life partner inclusive. God still loves the divorcee and he has something better. Don’t let your christianity be just head knowledge, Get God’s word inside of your life and experience the transforming power of the Holyspirit. God bless you.